proudarmywives

So your man is in the military. Being with a military man, whether it be Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, etc- can be difficult, and the most stressful thing on the planet! You never know when those orders will come, the orders that will take him away from you for long periods of time- weeks, months, even a year or more. But if your relationship is strong enough, this is one of the most rewarding relationships there are.

In my case, I’m married to an Army man. We’ve been together five years, and married for three. We have small children together, and he’s been deployed for over a year. It hasn’t been easy. But being with an Army man has taught me not to take anything for granted- not to take HIM for granted. You see, while it’s stressful, and it’s emotionally draining at times- we’ve learned to make each conversation count, each email count, each phone call or chat counts! It’s the small things that we both treasure now. And we’ve discovered that while it’s been difficult, our relationship is strong enough to survive anything.

I know that while it’s been difficult, neither of us would go back and undo him re-enlisting in the Army. It’s been a learning experience- lots of laughter, tears, pain, joy, and emotions run high.

When dealing with your military man, remember that he’s in the military because he’s doing what he feels is best- for himself, for his country, and even for his family/relationships. Remember, if you go through a deployment, that while it’s extremely difficult for you to cope, it’s just as hard on him. He’s away from everything he knows, everyone he loves, and he worries about YOU while he’s “over there.” Being with someone in the Army or any other military branch requires complete honesty, openness and trust in your relationship. If you don’t already have those things in your relationship, then his military service, deployments, etc- are going to rip your relationship to shreds if you don’t work on it and work on it quickly!

Make sure that you find a support system to help you deal with being in a relationship with your military man. Other military spouses, girlfriends, etc- can be an invaluable source of support during deployments, trainings, etc. If you don’t understand something about anything he has to do or about his orders, ask your local Base or Post Chaplain or Family Support group. During deployments, find a way to keep yourself busy. Don’t sit and dwell on or focus on the fact that he is gone, and don’t constantly bombard him with

how stressed or upset you are when you get to talk to him! He has enough to worry about during this time, it won’t help you, him or your relationship if you dissolve into tears or hysteria every time he calls, and could end up causing him to resent you or feel overwhelmed.

Just remember that there’s something you both love about the other, and remember that love can overcome any obstacle, even distance or long periods of separation. Remember that honest, open communication is a must. And above all, keep yourself out of situations that could cause you to do something you’d regret or could cause him to distrust you. If you can’t refrain from these types of situations or behaviors- then maybe it’s best if you let him go. There are tons of women out there who can and would love the joy and privilege of loving a military man!

Stressful? Yes, being with a  military man is stressful. But the military life forces open and honest communication, and if your relationship and love is strong enough, then you’ll know that you’re both in it for the long haul after you’ve both survived a deployment together! Keep a support system around, make sure you communicate, and enjoy the privilege and joy of being in a relationship with a military man!

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